Spending time together

One thing that is important to us in a bigger family is spending time together. We enjoy walking, bike rides, cinema trips, swimming...the list goes on. Of course, we do all we can to save money in those areas, more of how we do that in a later post.

However, something that is important to us is making sure to spend time individually with each child to build a closer relationship with them. As their mum, I am home with them the majority of the time, but around a year ago, I noticed that although I am always with them, I am not always 'with' them. What I mean is that although I am always physically there, mentally, not always! Housework, homework, doctors appointments, after school play dates or activities, and just everyday life can take over if I'm not careful. I realised that I wasn't actually spending any quality time with them, and I wanted to change this. I thought about it for awhile, wondering how to fit something else into the schedule without overburdening us all, and came up with the following solution. I realised that I went food shopping at least once a week. I usually did it in the evening, or a Saturday morning (ie, when the kids were home from school, so hubby could have 'quality' time with them, whilst I had a fairly relaxing stroll up and down the aisles of the local supermarket) I decided that if I took one child a week with me on this trip, I could turn it into a weekly mum/child date without any extra time being taken from the family time. I made a few changes to my routine, and invited the first child along. I decided firstly, that I would restart my once a month online delivery (more about that later) so that the weekly shop was not a large shop. I invited the child to estimate the cost of the food as we went, and I would do the same. Whoever got closest to the actual total won a treat from McDonald's on the way home; usually an ice cream. Of course, although I have come close to beating the kids at this game, I, unfortunately have never won! ;) I also allow them to select any box of cereal that they desire, (which must be shared with everyone) something which they couldn't quite believe, having spent years becoming accustomed to porridge, wheatabix, bran flakes and the occasional box of Cheerios! 'You mean I'm allowed coco pops?!'

Although I was concerned at first about 'giving up' a piece of my 'freedom' in allowing a child to come with me on the shopping trips, I have gained so much more in return. I loom forward to this one on one time, and enjoy overhearing the kids discuss whose turn it is this week, what cereal they might choose, and whether or not this might be the week mum actually beat them and they wouldn't get an ice cream. It's a chance for me to ask a few questions about how they're doing, away from the hustle and bustle of everyday life, and without everyone overhearing it. Although it's only once a month, it seems to come round quickly for each child, and food shopping has become something I really enjoy. The older kids are getting quicker and better at estimating the total cost, and learning about the cost of food, and how much we spend each week

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You have how many kids???

When I am out and about with all 5 children, this is a question that is not far from the lips of most people I come across. To be fair, it is not always voiced out loud, but I can read it in their eyes. Before they can stop themselves, it is often swiftly followed with something along the lines of 'you don't look old enough!' Truth be told, I'm never quite sure how to answer either question, or even if they require an answer. I usually just mumble something about 'yep, they're all mine, and I'm definitely old enough to have them!' I'm not quite sure why, but I often also find an uncontrollable urge to mention the fact that I have a degree (see what I just did there? I'm starting a blog about my children and family, and the first thing I point out?!) therefore guiding people to the natural reasoning that I must be choosing to stay home, it is not because I'm uneducated or unemployable, although there are many, many days when I definitely feel both!

I have decided, that there is no need any more to justify having a 'large family'; funny thing is, I'm from a family of four, and my husband of five, and one of my best friends growing up was from a family of ten, so five just feels normal to us, not large. I'd simply like to share some of the things we do that work, and also some of the things we've done that don't work! There may be more of the latter postings! Often people ask me how we manage with 5 between the ages of 2 and 12, and so this blog is just to share some of our thoughts on family life, mealtimes, food, bedtimes, budgeting, after school clubs and I'm sure many other things. What we do usually works for us, but is obviously not right for everyone. We hope you enjoy a little glimpse into our everyday life, the good, the bad....and sometimes the downright ugly....

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